Two Rides Around Essex - Chris Negus 100km and a YACF Saturday Ride

All Essex rides lead to Thaxted, with its really big hill. It’s The Law. There’s even a picture of the Thaxted windmill on the front of the OS map of the area. One of these rides was no exception. The other...let’s just say, I would have rather gone to Thaxted than bloody Tilty.

These two rides covered almost exactly the same ground, just in reverse order. Almost everything else about them is reversed as well. The second ride was a great day out, good company, good food, good weather and good roads. The first one...wasn’t.

1. Audley End to Henham

The train timetable means that if I want to do one of the audaxes from ‘The ‘Uts’ (a group of cycling club houses in Essex clustered around Elsenham and Henham), I either have a long wait, or a long ride to the start. This time I chose the long ride to the start, alighting the train at Audley End and riding the six miles or so into the wind to the Shaftesbury clubhouse. This was my first mistake. Getting to the start of the ride with only five minutes to spare, I had no time for a cup of tea or a bacon roll, or even to really sort out my stuff.

2. HQ to High Roding

The usual thing happened in that within ten minutes I had lost sight of the field and was plodding along off the back of the group. This is a little dispiriting; I don’t feel I am that slow a rider, but I am slower than most on audax rides. So I was quickly on my own, but I followed the route sheet through and reached the first control – and two other riders arrived behind me! So not last after all, and I hadn’t yet taken a wrong turning. Things were looking promising.

3. High Roding to Pleshey

This was only a very short stage, through two villages. One of my tail-ender friends caught up with me again here. I stopped to eat some Haribo, and then sailed on down a lovely big hill – the right direction!

4. Pleshey to Lindsell

This is where it all started to go a bit wrong. The weather was much colder than forecast – I had chosen to wear little ankle socks and summer shoes so my feet were cold, and I started to get cramp in my toes. Usually this happens after about 40 miles so I was worried they was already doing it at mile 20. I stopped, I got off the bike, I stretched my leg muscles out – nothing worked. Every time I had to put any weight on the pedal at all, my foot seized up. I made it through Felsted past the very posh school, and limped through Stebbing into Lindsell, where I saw my friend again, studying a map. I wondered why, since he was obviously following me!

5. Lindsell to HQ via Tilty

I soon found out. He had obviously been looking for a way to avoid Tilty. Tilty of the endless hill, which I was reduced to walking up after my foot completely seized at the bottom. Tilty of the sideways rain, which soaked me in seconds and was completely unforecast – I was in totally the wrong clothes, and had already been cold. Tilty of the crows standing by the side of the road waiting for the weary cyclists to stop moving. Tilty of the swivel-eyed old man with a flat cap and a whippet muttering to himself as I crawled past. Tilty. That’s all the sign says. Just: Tilty. No ‘welcome’, no ‘please drive carefully’. Just: Tilty. I reckoned it should add: Now piss off!

6. Cake

So, I packed at the halfway point. Apparently there were quite a number of quitters, mainly because of the weather. After handing over my unfinished brevet card, I went in for a cup of tea and a bit of cake. The Shaftesbury CC do some fantastic food, which went some way to thawing me out – including the biggest chocolate muffin I have ever seen.

All this meant that I had unfinished business with The Tilty Area.

1. Audley End to Thaxted Poppy Tea Room

This ride actually started in Audley End, so already it was looking up. In addition, the weather forecast had been rubbish all week – heavy rain, high winds – but it was actually sunny, quite warm and with a light breeze. A group of ten of us set off towards Thaxted, and we all stayed together – this was a social ride. A few stiff hills here at the beginning, and we were soon at Thaxted just in time for the tea room to open and feed us cake, cream teas and cinnamon crumpets!

2. Thaxted to High Roding

This ride was almost an exact reverse of the Chris Negus ride. This direction was much more cycle-friendly! The hills we rode down seemed to outnumber the hills we rode up, which is always the right way around. The sun came out for a while. Past Pleshley with a brief stop to fix a p******e, and then slightly off-route to find the Black Lion in High Roding for lunch. This is a 14^th century pub (many of the villages around this area of Essex are fairly ancient, boasting 500-600 year old buildings and pubs. I imagine the history of the names alone is very interesting) where we had some lovely baguettes and chips. Slightly depressing that we were the only customers, although the landlady said that more people would be in later. But these places, if they close, are lost forever, or turned into ‘executive dwellings’ for stockbrokers to buy (spit), which is a terrible fate!

3. High Roding to Audley End, via Henham

After lunch we got a bit faster, as it was almost 3pm and we wanted to get back in daylight, before the weather turned. The brief window of warmth had gone and it was getting colder so we powered through towards Takely where there was another p******e to fix. The roads were covered in several places by stones and washout – there had been some serious rain the day before the ride. I do have a slight dread of this happening to me on a group ride – I can fix a p******e but I can’t do it quickly!

Tyre repaired, we then made fast time back to Audley End, past the ‘Uts and through Newport, where a large deer ran across the road right in front of one of our riders, less than 10m away! A rather hairy moment. Disaster averted we got back to Audley End just in time for my train.

A much better ride!!

Full-On Cycle Commuting

I am a cycle-commuter

I ride 16 miles each way through the Suffolk/Cambs border country. Most of the time. When the Weather Goddess is really taking the mick I do a bike-train-bike variant with a folding bike – I’m not that masochistic.

My motivation for the cycle-commuting was the late, unlamented National Express East Anglia, who when they weren’t on strike didn’t send any trains anyway just in case you got used to them. One day in August 2010 my season ticket ended, and I just didn’t renew it. I did a bike repair course, bought some new (and, obviously, very attractive) lycra items, and went for ‘the big commute’ four days a week.

The YACF cycle forum was a terrific help with this venture. Before starting, I put out a request for advice, and I got it in spades. Much of the talk of dynamo systems and gear ratios went over my head, but I did follow much of it, for instance:

Buy a decent front light

I got a Hope Vision One, a fantastic bit of kit that lights up the road like a car headlight even on the lowest setting.

You don’t need to spend silly money on Assos kit

The best bit of cycle clothing I own is a fleece hat, completely waterproof, lovely and warm, and purple. Five quid. Other good buys include Altura fleece-lined leggings, a couple of Gore tops (not super cheap but Evans have sales quite often), and really basic Specialized mitts. I also wear an H and M fleece which was a brilliant buy at 15 pounds.

Weather or not

It’s always windy on the fens so I’m used to that. But wind+rain, wind+cold, wind+hail, wind+sleet, and of course, ice – mean you’ll probably find me on the train. Lashing rain and wind in the middle of summer? Oh yes please.

Don’t eat too much cake

I ignored this advice completely!

Selections from my starting-to-commute diary, September 2010

Day 1

Rain. A great start – a total soaking on the way home. Got cramp in my feet after my shoes soaked through. Lesson learned: pack waterproof socks in correct bag.

Day 2

Wind. Ridiculously windy today, direct westerly all the way in and freezing cold as well. Averaged a pathetic 9 mph, 25 minutes late for work. Close to packing in the first 15 minutes but no way am I giving up in the first week! Lesson learned: leave earlier in bad weather.

Day 3

Got the train to take in some clothes. Obviously, the sun came out!

Day 4

Still a gale-force westerly. Wish it would die down a little. As a fellow yacf-er said, ‘I take it you’re riding in the UK? Good luck with that.’

Day 5

Warm! No wind! Am I still asleep? No – the weather has actually improved! Now, of course, I am too hot. Lesson learned: get some baby wipes (the office has no showers).

Day 6

Thought it was too good to be true. The wind is back...

Day 7

Another train day.

Day 8

Felt strong today and did a quick time. Maybe I’m getting somewhere!

Day 9

Knackered. Felt like shit all day at work but still decided to ride home: a mistake. Headwind didn’t help, as it took ages and I got cold. Lesson learned: if I don’t feel 100% sitting in the office, then performance on the bike seems to really suffer.

Day 10

Wind again – a northwesterly this time, extra special in that it is a headwind BOTH ways!Like doing 16 miles uphill. Frustrating to say the least. And horizontal rain – how does that even happen?? 

 

Day 11

Cold and dark today. What joy!

Day 12

Another train day, so the sun is out again!

Day 13

I know that I asked for a cessation of the west wind. I did not mean for it to be replaced by an equally strong EAST wind!

Day 14

Very tired today. Tried out the idea of listening to a little mp3 player as I ride. Music does seem to be good motivation, and I have it on fairly quietly so I can still hear cars.

Day 15

Really good day today. No wind! Finally. Today a colleague expressed genuine amazement that I could cycle 16 miles to work – she was actually shocked. Didn’t do the ego any harm at all.

Day 16

What a gorgeous day! Clear sunny skies and light winds. Perhaps one day in fifty is like this, but they make all the rest of the days worth it. I made it home today in the same door-to-door time as my bike-train-bike commute. Loving it!!

Of course that’s not the end of the story. Three years later and I’m still at it....so it can't be that bad, right?

Your Mileage May Vary - Mildenhall 100km Audax

24/08/2013
The rain sweeps over the sodden fields in misty curtains. Every spider’s web is hung with thousands of droplets, the spiders themselves nowhere to be seen as they sheltered from the monsoon. Every leaf and branch and petal softly dripping. Under the trees the sound of raindrops falling on the summer canopy, an occasional drop reaching through to cool humid skin and catch in damp strands of hair. The roads, awash with mud and stones, glisten in the early morning gloom.

The perfect day, obviously, for a bike ride.

1. From home to Mildenhall 

I signed up for the Mildenhall 100km audax ride planning to ride to and from the start – I live at Newmarket, which is only ten miles away. I procrastinated over whether to do the 50 or the 100, finally getting myself to (wo)man up and enter the 100 just barely two weeks before. I then started to look at the weather forecasts, which went from the very promising ‘Big Sun’ to a severe warning for heavy rain within 48 hours! I do wonder if my entering the ride was the one event, the butterfly flapping its wings, that made that low pressure system swing around and make its sodden way to rendevouz with Mildenhall. Imagine if I could harness that kind of power – I could bring rain to the desert, spring to the icefields, sunshine to the Scottish...all by getting out my bicycle! Actually, just by thinking about getting out my bicycle. Sadly, I don’t think it’s my power. The Weather Goddess and I have had altercations before, culminating in me standing, soaked to the skin, yelling into the storm that she could do her worst but she would not stop me from riding. We’ve reached an understanding, now - she does whatever she wants, and I suck it up.

Anyway, despite the dire forecast the ride to the start wasn’t too bad. The rain was steady but light, and it was already warm – extremely humid. The choice today was between ‘soaking wet’ and ‘boiling hot’, and I had decided on long leggings and a fleece hat that is the most waterproof thing I own. I was hot. But the rain seemed to be easing a little, so maybe I could lose the hat later on.

2. Start to Andy’s Cafe (formerly Tubby T’s) 

As I collected my brevet card from the CTC gazebo (once I’d found it) the rain began to get heavier. A collection of waterproof-wearing cyclists appeared, all trying to fill in their cards while still underneath the tiny gazebo which was the organisers’ only protection from the elements. I’m not really sure why they couldn’t have the ride leaving from outside the main school building – closer to the loos and the chance to buy cups of tea, not to mention less chance of the whole control floating away.

Anyway, soon we were off!

The field was fast, and I was soon right at the back. I know I am a slow rider, but I did find it a touch depressing that the entire field was out of sight by the time we’d gone through Worlington, only three kilometres in to the route! I did catch up with a father-and-son team who were going at my pace, and rode with them through most of the first section of the ride. After getting across the four consecutive roundabouts at Red Lodge (marvelling at how a new, ostensibly planned development can have such a shocking road layout), we were into the countryside, silent and misted as it was. Hardly a car was on the road, and unusually, there was no wind – the only sound was the swish of tyres on wet tarmac and the steady dripping of soft rain on full green leaves. Up a few little hills (when Gazeley appears on a route sheet you know there will be at least one) and through some small villages, and then there was the first control, the recently-renamed Andy’s Cafe.

3. Andy’s Cafe to Wally’s Cafe 

I had known when I first read the route sheet that there was no way I would get around in time if I stopped for food and drink at all three of the cafe controls. As it seems a little rude not to spend any money at any of them, my plan had always been to stop at the second one for lunch. I ‘bounced’ this control - just got my card stamped and left straight away. As I came outside, the last cyclists were just leaving so I knew I was at the back, but not too far behind, so I rode off confidently.

And then missed a turn. I rode further on than I should have done looking for the right turn to Denston, and began to slog uphill into the wind along the A143 thinking it must be coming up in a minute....but then I came to a garden centre, and also came to my senses, pulled in and got out my map to see if I could avoid having to double back. I probably could have done, but I thought it might be easier to retrace my steps, which it would have been if I had not gone wrong again! Eventually I came to the series of steep, sharp hills that signals the approach to Hawkedon, and I was finally back on route. I stopped around here for a bit of food and drink and then got going again. The next bit, to Long Melford, seemed to take a long time. The rain had stopped, so the hat came off, but I was still rather hot, and not drinking enough water. I have never mastered the technique of reaching my water bottle while riding – I’m riding a small-framed bike to match my own small frame, and it was a tight fit even getting a bottle and cage to fit in the triangle. Something to think about for the future - maybe a smaller bottle, or somehow rigging something to handlebars? Anyway, eventually, after a rather hairy mistake nearly turning into the wrong Acton industrial estate (there are two next to each other), with a car right up my backside as I wobbled about uncertainly, I made it to the second control.

4. Wally’s Cafe to the Cockfield postbox 

My plan had been to eat here, but once again I arrived as most people seemed to be leaving, so I decided on just a cup of tea and a loo stop. I ate half a bag of crisps and some Haribo while packing up again, and left with some other riders, who soon stretched away into the distance. Shrugging, I plodded on, through Lavenham (which is very pretty, and also full of tourists despite the dreadful weather), and to the first ‘info control’, the Cockfield postbox.

5. Cockfield postbox to Lizzie’s Cafe 

The next section really started to grind me down. The rain had started again, heavier than before, so the hat had to go back on even though I was already far too hot. On top of that, it started to get windy, and every instruction on the route sheet seemed to turn me more into the rising wind, which was now laced with heavy rain. My waterproof jacket has recently decided that keeping water out is an over-rated feature, and has stopped working very well, so my arms were getting soggier by the minute. Just to put the tin hat on it, this entire section seemed to be uphill. And then there was an instruction of the route sheet which said to look out for an unsigned left-hand turn with a tractor sign after the turn. How the hell was I meant to find that?! I stopped under a tree for some more food, recognising this swing into black depression coupled with sarcasm and blinding rage as a symptom of low blood-sugar, and then I rode on. Still, I did miss the turn, only by pure luck did I glance behind me and see the tractor sign, so staying on route by the skin of my teeth.

The route after this, through Risby, seemed rather interminable, as the road goes sharply uphill through an estate (I walked the last bit of this hill – I just couldn’t get the bike forward after having to stop to let a car out of a driveway), and then seemingly miles out of the way to avoid the A14, doubling back on itself at least twice. Earlier I’d been grinding up a hill and passed a group by the side of the road fixing a mechanical, and now they caught me up. “Have you got a couple of spare tyres in that bag?” said the man at the back of the group as they effortlessly sailed past me. I couldn’t work out if it was a comment about carrying too much stuff, or going too slowly, or even being too fat (though I’m not), but whatever he meant, the comment annoyed me.

Oh well – I soon forgot about him as I arrived at the next control, Lizzie’s cafe, to a resounding cheer from the controllers, the Boab and ChrisS clan from YACF! They told me I wasn’t last, which even if it wasn’t true, was sweet of them.

6. Lizzie’s Cafe to Kennett Memorial 

This cafe looked very inviting, and it was still raining a little bit, so I had sort-of decided to stop for some cake. But first I went to the loo. Readers of a nervous disposition may wish to skip the next paragraph. Pick your euphemism: the cardinal had called, it was ruby Tuesday, the time of the month, the red flag was flying. And, I have noticed this phenomenon before: cycling brings on the Blood. I am a little prone to this anyway, but a long bike ride does something horrible to me in that area, and the result is something Stephen King would describe as a bit much. Anyway after mopping up (sorry) what could have been evidence of a grisly King-inspired murder, I was in no mood for cake and I bounced this control as well, heading straight out again towards Cavenham, Tuddenham and the weird standing stone in the middle of road that is the Kennett Memorial. I told myself I would go back another day for some cake, and maybe I even will.

Again this next section seemed mostly uphill, and the wind was getting stronger, as well. I stopped at the memorial to note down the (fictional) distance to Tuddenham (Your Mileage May Vary – never was a truer phrase uttered than when referring to Suffolk’s road signs) and eat something. I didn’t want anything I had with me, but I drank some more water and headed off again.

7. Kennett Memorial to Mildenhall Rally Field 

This last 10km flew by, the wind was sort-of behind me, and I didn’t really have to look at the route sheet apart from when getting over that ridiculous roundabout collection in Red Lodge. Soon I was swinging into the Rally field where I then had another hunt about for the Arrivee...the gazebo had been abandoned at the side of the road, and all I had was ‘main camping field’ as an instruction. As I hadn’t actually been camping I didn’t really know where this was, but I eventually saw a tiny sign saying ‘audax’ and followed it to a little tent with some tables outside to get my card stamped. As I was leaving I saw a couple of others arrive, so I wasn’t quite last after all!

8. Mildenhall to home 

I still had to get home, of course, so after a brief rest I set off again back the way I had come. I was starting to feel the miles now, and I was very dehydrated. I think the combination of wearing too many clothes for the temperature (in order to keep dry) and not eating or drinking enough (in order to keep within time), started to make me feel quite sick, although I didn’t ‘bonk’ and got home quite fast (for me). Back at the house I checked my cycle computer and it claimed I had done 94 miles. If that is true, this is my longest ride to date, which got me to thinking...maybe a 200 isn’t completely out of my reach after all....

And then, as I was sitting in the living room drinking some coke and eating more Haribo....the sun came out! Of course. The Weather Goddess likes her little joke, though, because it was still raining....